Starter
“You’ve been criticizing yourself for years and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise Hay
When I’m having a difficult time being gentle with myself I ask myself this, “If I was speaking to a younger version of me who was a just a little girl trying her best, would I be this hard on her?” I’ll be honest, the answer is NEVER yes. Imagining the type of care I would afford to a small child or someone I love deeply is the easiest way for me to tap into the ability to provide that level of compassion, concern, and care for myself.
Next time you’re going through it and you’re having a hard time being kind to yourself, put yourself in the shoes of younger you or someone you would normally protect. Let me know if it helps you shift your approach towards yourself and feel free to share your best tips in the comments.
Supper
Welcome to the first edition of my Sunday Supper Newsletter. Welcome to Family Dinner.
Why the name? I’m glad you asked. (Let’s just pretend you asked, ok?)
For those who may not know, I entered recovery from years of disordered eating in October of 2020. After years and years of denial and restriction, I committed myself to the incredibly difficult task of feeding my body both adequately and consistently. While this may sound simple to some, it was an insurmountable ask for me. Three meals a day was an absolute battle and still, it was the simplest part compared to the mental and emotional challenges that come with recovery. Recently, I had a brush with relapse, click here for the story, but I’m proud of the total progress I’ve made.
During my journey, an unexpected but undeniable truth has surfaced, the strength of my eating disorder falters in the presence of community. I had no idea how many incredible mealtime moments I missed because I was preoccupied with what was going on my plate, if I even showed up for a plate at all. The fact is, alongside my own efforts, family dinners have saved me in a multitude of ways over the last three years.
Year one was full of dinners with chosen family, one of my best friends and my God Daughter. We explored SO much of what the Las Vegas food scene had to offer and made tons of delicious creations together at home, too. I let my Mom make me a birthday cake for the first time in years, and I learned to look forward to holiday meals instead of dread them.
Year two I developed an intense love for cooking and exploring new recipes. I built beautiful plates even if I was eating alone and shared photos with friends and family who have no idea how much it helped when they indulged my new “hobby.”
Year three I set out to make in person connections and new friendships. I said yes to more coffee shops, hosting dinner with friends, social outings, and adventures of every kind.
I have laughed till I cried at family dinners, shared my most sacred truths, listened to the most beautiful stories, built relationships, and healed my heart at family dinners.
My hope is that we can share moments like that here too.
Since this is a subscription based platform, you’re here because you want to be and I am in tremendous awe and appreciation of that. Seriously, thank you.
I’d love to promise you that Family Dinner will be every Sunday at 8pm sharp, lavishly prepared and full of decadent morsels that you’ll talk about for weeks to come. Maybe sometimes it will be. But, sometimes it won’t. Most of the time it will be me, stumbling along and sharing what I learn. More important than the perfect schedule or expertly curated “content” is the feeling I hope this newsletter will impart to those of you who embark on this journey with me. A feeling of connection. A reminder that we aren’t alone.
I do hope to provide value with my insights and stories. But I also ask for your grace and compassion when I show up real, raw, and chaotic as hell.
You can expect a starter, a supper, and somethin’ sweet in each newsletter and I hope you stick around to see how this evolves.
Sweets & Sips
This section will be the most unpredictable of all for sure. Will you get a meme? A joke? A recipe? The oppportunities are endless. This week? A collection of conversations from just a few of the incredible humans in my life that I am endlessly grateful for. My friends don’t know I do this. But I screengrab our convos to return to on days when my brain gets too loud and tries to convince me I’m alone in the world.
Enjoy some of my favorite moments from the last month with the top tier humans in my sphere.
I hope this week is kind to you, and even if it is not, I hope you find the strength to be kind to yourself.
Love you,
Candace
Did You Miss a Post?
Catch up here.
When You Can't Walk, Crawl.
CW: Disordered eating, relapse, body dysmorphia. I haven’t been to the gym in 4 weeks. First for a knee injury, and now, because I am exhausted and depleted. I can rep the weight of three grown men on the leg press and yet, I somehow hurt my knee simply walking down the street.